A stout and peculiar man enters an 11th grade biology classroom with an air of unusual confidence. His short legs thudded against the linoleum and with every heavy, reaching step the wind chimes that hung around his neck clunk together with a haunting rhythm. The entire classroom was enraptured by the foreign visitor who, at this point, had stopped in front of the black board and raised his chunky, hairy arms far above his head, with his fingers spread out and shivering. His crumpled face was abnormally asymmetrical, with one eye almost twice the size as the other, and dressed with a maniacal smile as he made uncomfortable eye contact with each silent, disoriented student. After a strained pause, the stranger yells ‘snakes!’ and falls, stiff as a board, onto the floor. He began to mumble snake facts as he thrashes, wind chimes rattling, throughout the classroom. A few of the more bright students have now begun to stand on their desks in fear and identify the injudicious man as their substitute teacher. The end to the bizarre show came with the first student making a bolt for the door, throwing her papers in the air to act as a kind of makeshift smoke screen as she sprinted down the hallway. A frantic evacuation by the students took place soon after, with the oblivious teacher still yelling snake facts after their quickly receding footsteps. An educated person would call today’s biology class largely unsuccessful.